So close!

I need a break from studying. Nothing better than to write about pretty much nothing :P
Four weeks until I'm done with the semester. 4 WEEKS. I can even taste it!
So I got two tests back this past week. I got my cell bio exam (which I may have mentioned already but in case I forgot, here it is): I got an 81% on my test. I was quite distraught as you can imagine, because the harder I work on that class, the lower my grades get. Maybe I shouldn't study at all, then maybe I'll start doing better! Yeah, right. It's consistently been going down, so in order to remedy that one, I went to a lecture done by someone who works for the Nano Institute here in Utah about nanotechnology. That guy was a genius. The title of the lecture was "Engineering Nanoconstructs for Drug Targeted Delivery". It was a very interesting lecture, and it related a lot to cell biology and chemistry. He even mentioned there are open positions in the lab for research, and I wish I could do it, but that would require me going to the lab to do research. My research right now is all done online, which makes it easier with my son.
My other exam was my math exam. That *bleepity bleep* exam was just horrendous. It may be partly due to the fact I was sleep deprived going into the test to begin with and couldn't remember much of what I had studied the previous night (I worked the night before then had to stay up the majority of the day taking care of my son). Regardless, I got a 64.5%. I have NEVER gotten such a low score on an exam in my whole entire life. I was fuming out of my ears. The class average was a 65%, which bothers me even more, because this is also the first time I was below the class average. After much cursing in my head, our professor once again has pity on us and lets us rework the problems to add half of our original score. So I'll end up with an A again. It's scary because either he's making his tests way harder than what the departmental final will be, or they'll be even worse. UGH!
My cell bio lab has ended. FINALLY! No more experiments that don't turn out! Wahoo! We just have a lab midterm in 2 weeks and that's all. I finished the biggest part of the research, and now it only has to be put into a report. I'm super excited because my professor said it'll likely be published with my name attached to it. That just makes me want to bounce off the walls with happiness! We'll see, though, I may totally screw it up at the very end, but that's highly unlikely. My professor would say something about it.
Speaking of my cell bio professor, I asked him if he'd be able to write me a letter of recommendation for me. He replied he'd be more than happy to, which is so awesome because I need a good strong letter for a couple of scholarships I'm applying for, and eventually, medical school. I also asked my boss for one and she was happy to write one as well. Now all I have to do is get my Letter of Recommendation Packets ready and sent out by the 9th. AAAHHH!
These last few weeks are going to be pure chaos (even worse than anything I've experience thus far). I have at least two tests every week until my last final on December 16th. Which is why I made myself as unavailable from volunteering from the 1st-16th because I'll need all the time I can get to study. I should take time off work too but work allows me to do my homework, and if I didn't come, I'd waste my time sleeping and wouldn't get paid or get my homework done. Lame. I pray for strength as these last few weeks crash on top of me.
I really feel bad for my husband and my son. I haven't been able to be with them a whole lot lately. This is where the severe guilt comes in. Going to school makes me feel like I'm horrible, selfish mom. I know I shouldn't feel that way because I'm ultimately doing what's best for my family and myself, but still. I look at my other girlfriends who have kids and get to stay home with them and I think that maybe that would be fun, but what would I do with myself psychologically? I'd go nuts! So I'm not sure why I feel guilty knowing well enough that I would go bonkers if I stayed home. Strange.
This next week will be interesting because of Thanksgiving. I'm working thursday night instead of saturday night, and so we're going to have family pictures done for the first time on saturday. It'll be fun. And ask me if I've bought our matching brown tops to wear yet? No. I found them online, I just have to go to Target to buy them.
I hope on Thanksgiving I'll remember all the things I'm grateful for. It's hard to look for blessings when you're consistently getting bombarded with problems. I guess that's just how life is.
Happy Thanksgiving!... and back to studying now.