Sunday, February 7, 2010

12-day run

Well, for these past two weeks I've been either going to school, or working, or both for 12 straight days in a row. Here's how it went:
Days 1-5: went to school, had little sleep (I consider 7 hrs of sleep every night little sleep since I actually need 9-10 to be functioning well), waking up at 6am every morning. So far, so good.
Day 6-7: worked two 12-hr shifts during the day, waking up at 6am every morning. Getting slightly grumpy, but it's bearable.
Day 8: beginning of the school week and dreading Friday's Chem lab. Still waking up at 6am and not doing well. Getting frustrated and wondering why I chose to do this, which led to a complete meltdown while cleaning the master bathroom and my son consistently trying to grab ahold of any chemical bottle he could find. I cried and sobbed for at least half an hour. I ended up putting my son in his room and shutting the door before I lost it, and then when I went back, he was playing with his toys, and upon seeing my red, swollen face, he lovingly said, "Momma? Awww, momma..." and patted my back when I gave him a hug. It was sweet tender moment that reminded me how precious that little guy is and how grateful I am that he is in my life.
Day 9-12: after a good talk with my husband, things were a bit better, and I began having a positive outlook on life once again, although I was still going through the same cruddy schedule and not having enough sleep.

So... what has happened in the last 12 days that have just put me over the edge?!
1) I had a Calculus test. But it wasn't that the test was hard, it was just the thought of having a test. I think I have major test anxiety because I do really well in homework and everything else, but when it comes to testing, I always draw a blank when I take a first look at it. I still don't know the results because the exam was this past thursday. Good thing the material was relatively easy and I would be surprised if I didn't Ace the exam.
2) My hypothesis for my genetics research got shot down. It involved people with blue eyes being less agressive than someone, let's say, with brown eyes. But I was told that was "politically incorrect" and that I should probably look at history more than just look at symptoms from DNA mutation. The crappy thing about this whole ordeal is that I spent so much time research the stupid gene that I actually had a pretty big discovery that left the doctor that helps me quite surprised. I know  he wants to help me (he even said he's made some politically incorrect publications), but I was really onto something here, and I'm sad I have to drop it. Too bad people in the world are so ignorant and think that my findings could be "racist", instead of looking at them from a scientific point of view. So dumb because I don't even have blue eyes!!! *sigh* And to top it off: computer programming is the biggest pain in the behind I could ever hope for, and I have to read a 60-page publication on genetics and the economy. Joy.
3) I got a 50% on one of my Physiology quizzes. Granted the quizzes are only worth 4 points, but still. That bothers me. We've had 5 quizzes so far and I've gotten 100% on all but two of them.
4) My chemistry TA is a moron and doesn't know how to teach. He's not helpful at all and I don't understand why I'm still attending discussion sessions when clearly it's not helping me. Good thing the chapters are finally getting easier to understand, which means Chapter 13 was the top of the hill, and everything from there is all down hill.
5) Chemistry Lab scares the H out of me. I hate doing lab work and I'm always terrified I'm going to mess up an experiment so bad that I'll have to start from scratch and not have time to finish. I'm glad that has never happened (this is my 4th chem class), but that thought crosses my mind every day.
6) I got sick and tired of doing everything myself, such as laundry, all the house cleaning, paying bills, getting the mail, cooking, etc... My husband and I decided he was taking on the roll of doing all the laundry and giving our son all the baths. That should take care of some of the stress.
7) And last, the icing on the cake, the big bad wolf of the whole story: I found out both the Chem exam and Physiology exam next week are on the SAME day. Those are my hardest classes, and how do I get so lucky?! It wouldn't be so bad if it was Calc and Phys, or Calc and Chem, but Chem and Phys together?! I hope the "testing gods" will pity me and not allow for that to happen again for the remainder of the semester.

I realize this is a big rant... and I apologize. If anyone reads this thing (which I know two people do!) they probably think I'm the world's most negative person, and surely most depressing as well. Like I said before, I'm just really stressed and still trying to figure out this whole schedule. Once I get into a groove- within the next 2-3 weeks, I should be less grumpy. I hope. :)

To end on a good note: I forgot about the weekly quizzes for chem lab, and since I hadn't studied for it when she announced she was passing them out on tuesday, I just calmed down and made sure I thought all the questions through before moving on to the next one. And it worked: I got a 90%! :D

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