This is TOUGH.

I haven't written on here in a while so I thought I'd post.
I'm not sure if anyone reads this or not because I don't see any comments, but this blog functions as a journal for me, but definitely as a help to any moms out there who may be wondering what it's like to be a mom and be pre-med. I just like being able to vent.
Well... school started. And it's been tough. I forgot to mention, however, that instead of taking Genetics I switched it up with Physiology. Maybe I did mention this already? Sounds vaguely familiar, but oh well. Lack of babysitter choices put me in Physiology instead. I'm sad I wasn't able to take it this semester since my big undergrad research is this semester and it's on Anthropological Genetics. I'm working with a distinguished doctor who graduated from Yale and has taught at Yale and Harvard. He's an awesome geneticist and so far I've learned a lot about genetics. He's also a published author of a book (among dozens of articles and other texts) and I've had the opportunity of reading it. It was a great book. Now I have to learn a little bit about computer programming in order to help with research, and needless to say, I'm quite scared... but it's just one more hurdle to jump over this semester.
I have class every morning at 7:30. It's been different to wake up so early in the morning, but it's been doable. I'm not a morning person at all, but I've been taking some hot chocolate with me to drink in the car, then I listen to my IPod while I walk (it's about 10-15 minutes walking from my car to the building where Chem classes are at). Last night I began taking melatonin as a natural way to help me sleep more deeply, and it worked. I woke up today and didn't feel very tired, especially this afternoon.
My financial problems with the school are still up in the air, which is why I need to call them to see if I can just get the late fee added on ($60 max) so I can at least wait for the tuition money to come through. I'll be devastated, though, if I don't get enough financial aid because it'll mean I have to drop out of school and not go in until Summer if I can get it paid for. I just turned in applications for 3 scholarships and if I get those, it'll cover 3 semesters worth of tuition. Hopefully I'll get them.
Then my husband and I decided we need to sell our condo and move. Our HOA is being raised and we'll be assessed every year for at least $500 to $1000 for about 4 years and we can't handle it. So we're gonna sell quickly (hopefully) and move into a rental townhome/duplex closer to school, if not student housing. It's probably good this way because what if I get accepted to med school outside of the state? It'll be an easy way to get out of here instead of trying to sell later.
Anyway, back to the school thing. I have lots of homework (I just saw I have a one 5-credit course, and 3 4-credit courses this semester)... I should be doing homework but I need to unwind. I'm pretty busy and I can't seem to adjust to my schedule yet. That's the worst part of it all: not having a regular schedule. It drives me crazy.
Today I read that it's okay to not have your house cleaned spotless when you go to work and school and take care of a family. You may think that's a no-brainer, but to me, when it's written down in an article, is almost like a commandment. I'm not sure why my mind can't figure these things out, but I figured that out today and this semester I'll be working on letting things go- a little. I won't get lazy or nasty, but you get my point.
I have a Calculus class that has a really awesome professor. He's got a PhD in Engineering (what is it with these engineers?! They're all over the place now that I see them- especially in my chem class). When he first walked through the door last week to begin class I could've sworn they pulled a bum out of the street to teach. He's not "polished" by any means, but he has some great advice and he's an awesome professor. I'm so glad I got him for Calculus because I know I'll be struggling, and he's very understanding and willing to answer questions, which is great. So far we're reviewing about 1 1/2 years of math (college algebra, trig) so it's a piece of cake.
So far it's tough, but like I said, it's probably because I don't have a regular schedule yet, and I'm still nervous about my tuition money. We'll see what happens. If I drop out, it'll be okay... and that's what I keep telling myself in between the tears.